


silence; waiting

by zanykingmentality



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Video Game 2018), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Character Study, Gen, IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL, Introspection, Nostalgia, Vignette, bUT PETER, i've been playing this game nonstop and i. love it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-05
Updated: 2019-03-05
Packaged: 2019-11-12 09:28:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18008318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zanykingmentality/pseuds/zanykingmentality
Summary: Peter Parker has no home, and no place to stay.





	silence; waiting

**Author's Note:**

> i've been playing the spiderman game for the ps4 and i ADORE IT it's so good and beautiful and wonderful and ugh. don't even. don't even get me started. 
> 
> anyway i really love peter in the game and he's going through so much shit and still staying strong!! we don't see much of his internal struggle and i wanted to here. anyway~ 
> 
> unbeta-d as usual, but spellchecked! please enjoy~

He has lost a little too much these past few days. 

 

All of Peter’s belongings are in a duffel bag on top of a building bordering FEAST, and even then he has to be careful to hide from prying eyes his quick-change into civilian life. Sometimes he doesn’t even change, sometimes he doesn’t even make it to the building ― he falls asleep sitting down waiting for a call from Yuri, or reading one of MJ’s articles. 

 

Growing up in Queens, it took Peter a long time to get used to leaving his stuff somewhere other than his apartment with its bolt-lock and tough doors. It wasn’t security, not in the least, but it was  _ something, _ and at least Peter could rest easy knowing that his stuff wasn’t out on the streets. Now it’s all on top of a roof, all the stuff he could salvage, and he hasn’t slept in days ― 

 

He doesn’t need to sleep as often as normal people, though. He can get by on a nap schedule, or even on a schedule of a full night every few nights, but that doesn’t drain away the tiredness from the very core of his being. His muscles ache from constant exertion ― from jumping around like an acrobat atop an endless flaming spire, from forcing cracks into the skulls of Demons, Saber Agents, escaped convicts, anyone that poses a threat to Manhattan. 

 

It’s interesting though, that in this case something Jonah said once comes to mind: who is Peter to decide what is right and what is wrong? 

 

He drops down on criminals and doesn’t wait to hear their explanation ― he throws punches before speaking, but people lie, people are  _ liars  _ ― it’s hard to trust when thieves will take it and twist it into unrecognizable shapes. 

 

Now Peter doesn’t have a home ― he doesn’t have MJ ― he doesn’t have  _ friends  _ ― he doesn’t have the ability to be everywhere at once, to take in every criminal and Agent that fires at him as he swings through the city ―

 

_ I’m tired, _ he thinks, webbing himself between two walls in a makeshift hammock. It’s the most comfortable thing he can get out here. His eyelids are heavy from exhaustion. All he wants, right now, at this moment, is to fall asleep and never wake up again. 

 

But that’s not allowed. He has a city to protect. Even if he wasn’t Spiderman, he’d have May and Miles to protect. He’s long since come to terms with the fact that he can’t save everybody ― but at least he can save most people, at least he can  _ try.  _ It’s been so long that he almost doesn’t remember the fear in his own eyes at the way his hands stuck to the ceiling, the way he could sense when May walked up the stairs. 

 

Peter never really thought he was anything special before that. Sure, he knew he was kind of smart, but mostly a geek. But he never really thought his career options were open to anything other than chemical engineer, or maybe some sort of scientist. Maybe he’d have worked with Harry on the research stations until his mom died, and then they wouldn’t have fallen into disrepair. Who knows ― maybe he would’ve ended up at Oscorp. 

 

God, he hopes not. With everything he’s learned about Norman these past few days, he doesn’t want anything more to do with the guy. Peter just wants Harry back ― wants MJ back ― wants May and their apartment in Queens. 

 

Don’t get him wrong ― Peter would never give up being Spiderman. This is his  _ life _ now. But how sustainable is it really? How much hurt will he put MJ through ― and eventually May and Miles, if they ever find out? How much will he have to push everyone away to finally realize everything he’s missing? 

 

Peter rifles through his duffel bag. He needs to do laundry soon ― hopefully he has some coins in his pockets for a laundromat. He needs to wash his suit, too. It’s starting to smell a little too much like criminals. He slips on a T-shirt ― an old Nirvana shirt from high school, one that’d been a gift from one of May’s friends in California or something that still fits, surprisingly ― and lays down in his hammock of webs, a tangled mess of neutralized, concentrated chemicals. He can make the webs without the chemical engineering, but it’s different ― not as potent. 

 

Despite everything, when Peter falls into place, his eyes close, and he is asleep. His only hope is that the ringing of his phone won’t wake him up. 

 

(It does, and he’s on the move again.) 

**Author's Note:**

> i'm in love with u peter parker pls


End file.
